August 16, 2016
Like every aspect of my life (Firefly, Hamilton, and puberty) I was late to the race. I started a full day and a half later than my fellow Pickymonsters. So I decided to start strong:
I will admit, I spent most of the two days I was meant to be busy thinking of an adequately hilarious name for “Red”. I, however, landed on this one.
So My Butt went for a walk (heh) and met with Prof. Oak who was all “I need you young boys to fulfill my life’s dream of collecting all 150 Pokemon as I am too old and frail to do it myself”…Yeah, sorry about that Professor. That ain’t the plan…
And of course, My Butt met its nemesis…
Abigail. AB.I.GAIL. I have a history with Abigail. She’s not girl I’m like “WHAT YOO TALKIN’ TO MA MAYNNN?! IMMA SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT” in real life, no. Nor is she even a real girl. PC Gamers may be familiar with a *certain* Abigail from Chucklefish’s excellent RPG Stardew Valley. Your Gramps gives you a farm in his will, and you leave your dead-end job to become a Farmer in Pelican Town. It’s a calming game (great for the individual with Anxiety). And I was having a delightful ol’ time growing seeds, meeting the townsmen, etc.
Then the Egg Festival came.
We competed to find the most eggs in like a minute. I worked my 8 bit ass off. And Abigail won. Which is fine. I can accept that. BUT I’m also someone who goes “Ah, y’know what? I wanna change the colour of my top- let’s start the game again”. So I did. The Egg Festival came again. AND GUESS WHICH B***h won?! It’s a fix, I tell you! A fix, I say! HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBL-
So…I chose a Bulbasaur. He’s called Mr. Pickles.
I’m in Pewter town as we speak, with Mr.Pickles and Heimlich (Caterpie) to my name. Gotta grind some, then it’s time to face this champ:
See you then, folks.
P.S. Dan, I totally feel for you re. Caterpie. Heimlich was an arse to find.